It’s like pulling off a band-aid. It’s saying fuck it to the wind and taking the plunge. Those breakneck decisions can be helpful (sometimes) for forward momentum.
I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo! Surprise!
I’ve said in previous posts, writing 50,000 words in a month is not something I could physically do, but this year has been a year of doing things I can’t do. I’ve avoided so many things in the past because I couldn’t do them, and I’m tired of that attitude. I’ve been tinkering with 12,000 words on my current project for 2 months. I write little scenes and bits of dialogue everyday. Most of the plot is outlined in detail, but I have been scared to actually sit down and write the story from beginning to end. I’m scared that all the scenes I find funny and heartbreaking won’t make sense when they’re all stitched together. That’s why in April, I will not be scared (okay, maybe still a lil’ scared), but I’m going to work through the doubts, fears, and second guesses. Some of my favorite and most well received papers from college were written close to a stressful deadline. Maybe what I need is a deadline to light a fire under my ass.
Sorry if I sound nauseatingly plain, but I’m a recovering pessimist. I always thought optimism was something you had to be born with, but I’ve found it’s something that you can train for, like a marathon, a marathon of the mind. *Maybelline Commercial* Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s depression and a crippling fear of failure!! One day I might write a post about pessimism vs optimism but not right now. I’ve got a novel to write!